pencildragon (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
buttonloops) wrote2019-02-18 10:14 pm
buttonloops) wrote2019-02-18 10:14 pm
Entry tags:
dreams of community
I started this post a couple of days ago, as a guide to watching the abridged queer highlights of the Netflix sitcom One Day At a Time. But then Sika (who I was writing the guide for) invited me over and we marathoned the show together. So, no longer writing that guide.
I definitely write less of all kinds of things when I have a full and active social life. Which is not a bad thing! I love people. I love spending time with my friends and my lovers and my comrades. But there's a distinct pleasure in exploring thoughts via text, and I don't do that as often as I'd like.
One of the things I've noticed about my self-diagnosed ADHD is that I both struggle to sense time passing and struggle to notice accomplishments. This is why I lean on so many methods of externalizing activities and accomplishments: to-do lists, checkmark emojis, a budget tracker app, etc. Today I set up an experimental time-tracking app so that I can see that yes, I actually am spending time on the things I want to do, like writing, reading, and studying languages. We'll see how that works. (The budget app - YNAB - is being so helpful that today I sprung for the paid subscription!)
I've been sick, this last week, with tonsillitis. Not really sick enough to stay home, but sick enough to be miserable and on antibiotics and painkillers. Today's a bank holiday, so I've spent the day mostly in bed, except for two brief forays out to drop my car at the mechanic and pick xir up again. (Fugue, my spiffy little hybrid car, had some sketchy bulges in one of xir tires, and so xie got two new front tires today.)
Halfway through the afternoon, I ate the last brownie from my inaugural batch of edibles, and have spent the rest of the day pleasantly high. :D
I've been thinking about how much I love my people, and how much I want to be part of a close-knit chosen family that takes care of each other.
It got me thinking about polyamory and radical queer culture and how sometimes we talk about the ways in which marriage is a patriarchal construct.
Most of my friends aren't looking at imminent marriage. We're living together, working, dating more or less casually or seriously, maybe still on our parents' phone plans or maybe just making a go of it fully on our own. Marriage is a distant thing, if ever. Sometimes we talk about kids, but that's still pretty far off, too.
But these roommate relationships, these romantic friendships and queerplatonic partnerships and chosen siblinghoods, are so deeply fulfilling to me.
I want to hear more conversations about hijacking marriage, now that we're legally allowed to do it, for queer purposes.
i don't want to slide into the pinkwashed version of two kids and a white picket fence in the suburbs, but it seems to me silly to eschew the whole institution. why don't we marry our friends, our comrades, our platonic partners? why let the tax and social advantages go all to unqueer people?
it's all tied up with the larger issue: let's talk more about platonic partnerships and romantic friendships and unsexualized affection and chosen family.
I definitely write less of all kinds of things when I have a full and active social life. Which is not a bad thing! I love people. I love spending time with my friends and my lovers and my comrades. But there's a distinct pleasure in exploring thoughts via text, and I don't do that as often as I'd like.
One of the things I've noticed about my self-diagnosed ADHD is that I both struggle to sense time passing and struggle to notice accomplishments. This is why I lean on so many methods of externalizing activities and accomplishments: to-do lists, checkmark emojis, a budget tracker app, etc. Today I set up an experimental time-tracking app so that I can see that yes, I actually am spending time on the things I want to do, like writing, reading, and studying languages. We'll see how that works. (The budget app - YNAB - is being so helpful that today I sprung for the paid subscription!)
I've been sick, this last week, with tonsillitis. Not really sick enough to stay home, but sick enough to be miserable and on antibiotics and painkillers. Today's a bank holiday, so I've spent the day mostly in bed, except for two brief forays out to drop my car at the mechanic and pick xir up again. (Fugue, my spiffy little hybrid car, had some sketchy bulges in one of xir tires, and so xie got two new front tires today.)
Halfway through the afternoon, I ate the last brownie from my inaugural batch of edibles, and have spent the rest of the day pleasantly high. :D
I've been thinking about how much I love my people, and how much I want to be part of a close-knit chosen family that takes care of each other.
It got me thinking about polyamory and radical queer culture and how sometimes we talk about the ways in which marriage is a patriarchal construct.
Most of my friends aren't looking at imminent marriage. We're living together, working, dating more or less casually or seriously, maybe still on our parents' phone plans or maybe just making a go of it fully on our own. Marriage is a distant thing, if ever. Sometimes we talk about kids, but that's still pretty far off, too.
But these roommate relationships, these romantic friendships and queerplatonic partnerships and chosen siblinghoods, are so deeply fulfilling to me.
I want to hear more conversations about hijacking marriage, now that we're legally allowed to do it, for queer purposes.
i don't want to slide into the pinkwashed version of two kids and a white picket fence in the suburbs, but it seems to me silly to eschew the whole institution. why don't we marry our friends, our comrades, our platonic partners? why let the tax and social advantages go all to unqueer people?
it's all tied up with the larger issue: let's talk more about platonic partnerships and romantic friendships and unsexualized affection and chosen family.