genderqueer imposter syndrome

[buttonloops]

[CN: SELF-DIRECTED QUEERPHOBIA/TRANSPHOBIA]

 ok so i'm genderqueer

i think i'm nonbinary / a nonbinary woman.

it sort of comes and goes. i'll have weeks where i'm like "who's awesome? THIS GIRL" 

and then weeks where "woman" and "girl" and "female" are nails on a chalkboard and ugggggggggghhhh no

the TROUBLE is...

i 100% believe in other peoples' non-binary-ness, but struggle to accept that it's a valid option for me.

me: "you can identify however you want! if you consider yourself nonbinary that's enough and valid!"
also me: "LOOK SELF, WHY CAN'T YOU JUST ACCEPT THAT YOU'RE A WOMAN???"

me: "presentation =/= identity!"
also me: ("but i pass as cis so maybe i'm not really nonbinary?")

i don't have the same impossible standards for other people. just for me.

sigh.